Sunshine, Lollipops

and everything else business is not.

I love an honest conversation.

This past weekend I sat with some friends who gushed over how effortlessly I was building this business - how good I am at content - how lucky I am to be so successful in my work.

Let me tell you the truth.

I travelled to New York the week before last week to meet with a buyer who I have been hassling for over 3 years now. Can you imagine 3 years of knocking on someones door relentlessly, emailing as often as I felt I could, sending updates and news and anything else that I hoped would trigger a response, some interest with my brand or open up a conversation.

Let me tell you, this kind of hustle - it preoccupies your brain. You dream about it and the first thought when you wake up is - let me check my inbox to see if she’s replied. This has been me, every single day for more than 3 years now (including weekends because Saturday is Friday in the US so who knows!)

I would love to tell you how many rejections I’ve received. The work and effort and head space and family life I have sacrificed to put together pitch after pitch and then follow it up until the door is absolutely closed (because I’m a born optimist so if the door is even slightly left ajar, I will keep on pushing relentlessly).

I would love to tell you more about the emotional impact of having to let someone from your team go. The guilt is immeasurable, being fully aware that I am solely responsible for someone being out of a job and for their pain.

I would love to tell you more about the cruel people - who tried to destroy my business in its infancy.

I would love to talk more about the wounds that shape us and dictate (whether consciously or unconsciously) the direction we take in life, the challenges we seek out and the immeasurable pain we endure time after time, unconsciously tapping into these triggers until we become conscious and deal with the pain from its source.

I would love to talk about self doubt, self critisism and crisis in confidence and recurring dreams that must be trying to tell me something.

Businesses that succeed are built on resilience, resourcefulness, creative problem solving and an unrelenting will like no other.

I adore the business I am building, it is made from the fibres of my soul - and I experience joy and take real pride in running it every single day. Business is the ultimate creative exercise and it has in turn revealed myself to me - who I am in the toughest of times - and who I am at my best. It has challenged me to step up again and again - to lead by example, and to be a living example of all the values that I hold close. It’s a journey and responsibility not for the faint hearted - but for the seekers of better, and for those with a powerful will to win.

Here’s to every other founder who is doing their absolute best. I see you and I salute you.