Ground Zero

Its me, hi, I'm the problem its me

I had my team work from my house on Tuesday as our office space is currently housing the overflow of new stock that just arrived.

There’s something deeply personal about inviting your team to work in your family-home environment. Perhaps its having your colleagues see the remnants of family-breakfast-mess, or its your team members placing their lunches in the fridge between kids snacks and dinner prep. Its feels very vulnerable but on the other side of the coin also quite lovely and connected.

There were 3 of us at my place on Tuesday and while we spread out and took up the entire dining table with laptops and extra screens and notebooks and everything else, there was also a certain intimacy in our level of discussion and the flow of conversation as we sat beside the kitchen getting our work done.

In between sips of coffee and snacks from the pantry, I mentioned that I had read the 5 dysfunctions of a team and explained the premise of the book including the basic structure of said dysfunctions (see pyramid graph below).

I went on to say that when reading this book, I found it very confronting to realise that I am the issue. I had approached the book with the intention of pin pointing areas for improvement in my team, but it turns out, that my team are in fact largely being let down my me.

I voiced this to the girls sitting at my table - and it led to one of the most bonding and honest conversation we have had as a group.

Humble pie is an acquired taste, but I’m growing to like it.

The book explores the challenges teams face and how trust— as the foundation of a healthy team— relies on cultivating vulnerability among its members. I thought I was the queen of vulnerability (look at me, substacker!) but alas, I have much to learn.

Some call me hard on myself - but that doesn’t discourage me from continuing to push myself to become better in all facets of who and what I am - in this context; a leader. If for nothing else, its for the individuals who make up the RD team. They give 110% and they deserve 110% from me.

When my husband came home from work, I told him about the conversation that had unfolded that day. In his calm , level headed way, he looked at me and smiled and said ‘you know exactly what you need to do’. And I do know - I need to listen to my team.

I’m not ashamed to work through this process of improving my leadership skills with my team holding me accountable along the way, in fact - i will be encouraging them to make sure they are.

My team are my teachers. Its a humbling thing to realise again and again in life, that when you think you’re the teacher (leader/parent/boss/manager) that in fact you are exactly the opposite - and have the most to learn.